


A Man More Dangerous Than Fried Food

by plutomere



Category: Fire Emblem Echoes: Mou Hitori no Eiyuu Ou | Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M, Makeover, first date disaster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-06-27 04:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15678474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutomere/pseuds/plutomere
Summary: A Leon/Kamui drabble collection.Drabble #2: The Checklist: Leon and Kamui's relationship stalls when Leon refuses to deviate from a 'proper' relationship for fear of being labelled a tramp.





	1. A Man More Dangerous Than Fried Food (Makeover)

**Author's Note:**

> After Kamui displays an interest in Valentian fashion, Sonya offers him a makeover. Leon is not pleased.
> 
> Takes place after Leon and Kamui's A-support, the night the party arrives in Sage's Hamlet.

As Leon works on Sonya’s blush, he can feel Kamui staring at them. Sprawled across the far bed in their cramped inn room, Kamui toys with a tacky ceramic bear knickknack once on the nightstand and simply… watches. Leon knows observing people is one of Kamui's pet hobbies. Coming on the heels of their discussion of what Leon would do if Valbar wasn't his type, being eyed so intently makes Leon nervous.

Sonya's knowing smirk isn't helping matters. She sits across from him on his bed, their spread of makeup between them. "Close your eyes, so I can do your eyeshadow," Leon says, sweeping up her brush. Sonya can't act like she knows things if she can't see them, Leon decides. "What look are you going for?"

"Dramatic, obviously," Sonya says. "If we’re going to give these woods gossip to last a good month, you and I need to look utterly ravishing." Leon wrinkles his nose, and on cue, Sonya opens an eye. “You better not be flaking out on me again, Leon. I swear to Mila...”

Leon twirls a finger in his hair and pouts. He had promised Sonya that he’d spend the night out with her the next time they found actual civilization. That had been before Leon felt the need to reaffirm his happiness and his relationship with Valbar in the face of Kamui’s intrusive questioning. “Valbar doesn’t want to go,” Leon says. He glances to Kamui, only to find him focused on the dumb bear.

“So you’re going to live like a repressed nun because Valbar lives like a repressed nun? He’s just going to spend tonight like he spends every other night. Talking business with Celica and then going to bed early. Maybe he'll indulge in a tall glass of milk,” Sonya scoffs. “I know he’s handsome, but why not find someone handsome that’s actually fun? Mila, don’t you want to live a little?”

“I’m living just fine, thank." Leon snaps, waving the eyeshadow brush. "Eyes closed, unless you want me to coat your eyeballs." With a disgusted groan, Sonya flutters her eyes closed.

"You'd better not let me down, Leon," Sonya sighs. "Otherwise, I'll be forced to drink with Saber and Jesse, and you know how useless they are. Jesse actively scares women away drooling all over them."

"Oh, like women won’t put up with those uncultured gorillas for a chance with you," Leon says as he sets the eyeshadow brush on the hand towel. “When you’re naturally gorgeous, people will put up with anything for you.”

“You’re naturally gorgeous, too, and you’re wasting your good looks by not sharing them,” Sonya says. Leon rolls his eyes and reaches for the eyeliner.

“What's that?” Kamui asks. Leon's traitorous stomach swoops at his husky voice.

Sonya leans towards Leon’s ear, enveloping him in a haze of rose perfume. “We can invite Kamui,” Sonya murmurs, in the tone used to offer a child candy.

“He’s not even my type,” Leon hisses. “If I were to go on some grand adventure to find the perfect man—which I’m certainly not about to—I wouldn’t start with him. Not even if he was the last man in the world.”

“That’s a weirdly specific protest,” Sonya says with a sly smirk. “Whatever. I don’t care who you make out with, as long as you make out with someone. You need to loose some steam.”

Kamui clears his throat. "So… The thing? Is it some kinda Valentian secret or something?" Kamui asks, propping himself up on his elbows.

Sonya winks, and Leon exhales through grit teeth. “It's kohl,” Leon says. As he returns to playing with the bear, Kamui treats Leon’s answer to a thoughtful hum. “It requires a fine touch, so I'd appreciate if you'd stop trying to distract me for a moment.”

"I'll just watch quietly then," Kamui says, tucking his knees to his chest.

"The watching is flirting, and your flirting is distracting. You're trying to get me to notice you by feigning interest in my hobbies," Leon says, dipping Sonya's brush in her pot of rouge. As he fills in her lips, Kamui cranes for a better view from his perch. "It hasn't worked for any of the other men who pretended to be interested either. I don't like men that aren't genuine."

Kamui flops back on the bed and folds his arms. "Well, I'm bein' genuine. Your makeup style is unique to Valentia. I'm just curious about it," Kamui says.

"When are you ever 'just' anything?" Leon asks, and dutifully, Kamui averts his gaze. Without Kamui's stare, Leon can feel his heart beating properly again. As he caps Sonya's pot of rouge, he ignores her judgmental frown and slaps a hand mirror onto her waiting palm.

Sonya twists and turns in the hand mirror before finishing with a little wink for her reflection. “Your brushwork is impeccable despite the… distractions,” Sonya purrs. Her measuring gaze drags over Kamui, busy toying with the ugly, ceramic bear. "If you're curious, I'll give you permission to steal a closer peek, Kamui, dear."

Kamui ditches the bear and bounds across the room. Leon steels himself for Kamui’s prying, ‘platonic’ glances, only to be taken aback when Kamui starts studying the makeup pots. "I didn't realize you actually liked makeup," Leon says, by way of apology. The way Kamui's goofy grin warms his face, Leon thinks he understands.

"It'd feel like a waste to travel the world and not take in the different cultures," Kamui says. "I've gotten to try some stuff on my travels, but the technique is always different." That opens up a fascinating series of questions Leon's sure Kamui won't answer, certainly not in front of Sonya.

Sonya leans towards Kamui like a lioness on the prowl. "We could do yours," Sonya purrs. Leon gapes at her. A properly cared-for Kamui is the last thing he needs when dirt is enough to accentuate Kamui’s perfect cheekbones to near distraction. It’ll only serve to muddy up the waters while he struggles to remind himself that he’s happy the way things are with Valbar, without romance, Leon thinks.

"Sure," Kamui says, grin utterly clueless.

"You're not serious," Leon says, gazing helplessly at Kamui.

"We could do a full makeover," Sonya says. The mattress creaks as she slips off the bed.

"You're _not_ serious," Leon squeaks, whipping his head back to Sonya. A little smirk settles across Sonya's lips as she toys with one of her brushes.

"When a frumpily dressed person gazes longingly at a makeup kit, it's our responsibility as beauties to offer a makeover," Sonya says, circling around Kamui like a vulture. "I showed more than a few girls at the monastery how beautiful they are. It's very rewarding."

“It disrupts the natural order of things,” Leon declares, cheeks pink. The protest is selfish, and it betrays Leon’s own belief that everyone deserves to dress how they want. If it weren’t for this newfound fear that there might be a man better suited for him than Valbar, Leon’s sure he wouldn’t protest at all. Confusion is plain in Kamui’s furrowed brow. As the guilt starts to build, Leon rips his gaze from Kamui. “He should stay in frumpy clothes.”

“Well, I can’t help it if you’re insecure,” Sonya scoffs, before fixing Kamui with an appraising eye. Leon’s half relieved Sonya’s overridden him. "You're about… Jesse's build. I'll get some clothes."

Leon jerks to his feet, relief evaporated by a single name. "What?! Not Jesse,” Leon sputters. “I'm not usually judge-y like this--" Kamui snorts. "--But he dresses like a male stripper.”

"I’ll make it look classy," Sonya says, already sweeping out the door. "If you’re done with your hissy fit, figure out what do with his makeup."

"There's no such thing as a classy stripper," Leon whines, collapsing on the bed. Without waiting for permission, Kamui sits beside him and begins to rummage through the pool of makeup not crushed by Leon’s dramatic flopping. Guilt still gnaws at Leon’s stomach, but he’s not about to apologize. Maybe after Kamui apologizes for ruining Leon’s perfectly content lifestyle by prodding at his relationship with Valbar.

Kamui sticks a pot of violent blue eyeshadow over Leon’s scowling face. "Can you show me how to use this?" Kamui asks, oblivious to the serious questions Leon’s busy juggling. After a moment where the two stare silently at each other, Kamui lifts it away. “Whatever. I’ll figure it out myself.”

Leon snatches the pot from Kamui's hand with a wrinkled nose. "Don’t put that on. It went out of style like… a year ago. You might more dangerous to my skin than fried foods, but I still wouldn’t wish a dated look on you," Leon says.

“So I’m terrible for your skin, huh? Ouch.” Kamui snickers. Sniping at each other, at least, is still familiar ground.

“That’s a serious accusation, Kamui, and I don’t appreciate you mocking it,” Leon says, shooting to his feet in mock offense.

Kamui springs to his feet after Leon. His nose only a few inches from Kamui’s collarbone and the warm scent of soap and nature, Leon falters a half-step at their abrupt closeness. Leon stares up at him breathless, waiting for Kamui to kiss him. Delicately, Kamui holds up a finger between them. “Counterpoint, fried food tastes good,” Kamui murmurs.

Leon stares up at him, mouth half-slack with disbelief, half-curved into a smile. “You’re unbelievable,” Leon huffs, edging around Kamui to gulp fresh air. Kamui looks pleased with himself, and Leon’s unsure if he wants to strangle him or kiss him. “I don’t appreciate you flirting with me like that.”  

“Good thing I was just making a comment on the tastiness of food then,” Kamui says. Despite himself, Leon’s grimace breaks into a giggle. Kamui flops back on the bed and beckons Leon to his side. “C’mon and paint my face.”

“We can’t do anything until we know what you’re wearing,” Leon says as he settles beside Kamui. "Honestly, I don't know what Sonya expects us to do while she's getting clothes. Your makeup palette and your outfit have to coordinate."

“Just walk me through everything then,” Kamui says easily. Leon acquiesces, leading Kamui through the different brushes and pots. When Sonya kicks the door open, the atmosphere is almost peaceful.

The woman is barely visible beneath a mountain of trousers, blouses, vests, and miscellaneous fabric. "Clothes," Sonya grunts, dumping the armload onto the edge of the bed.

Leon gapes at her haul before scrambling to hold up some of the garments. "Jesse's been travelling with all of that?" As Leon plays with the clothes, the fabric and sewing are unmistakably high quality craftsmanship. "This is better than what I wear," Leon squeaks.

Kamui lifts up one of Jesse's blouses with a hum of agreement. "Sounds like his clothes are classy hooker after all," Kamui says. Leon gently swats his shoulder, and Kamui shakes him off with a snicker. If Kamui notices Sonya delighting in their playing, his body language doesn’t show it. He drops the shirt and leans towards Sonya. "Whaddya want me in, boss?"

As Sonya starts assembling outfits, Kamui tugs off his shirt. It’s nothing Leon hasn’t seen before, but tonight Leon finds himself averting his gaze towards Kamui’s legs. The atmosphere between them is different, more uncertain. When Kamui reaches for his trousers, Leon shields his gaze with a panicked yip.

Perhaps the uncertainty is only one-sided.

"Should I keep this on or something?" Kamui asks, in the same tone he’d use to inquire about the weather. “I’m wearing more underneath.”

“I really don’t need to know if you wear boxers or briefs,” Leon squeaks.

Sonya rolls her eyes. "Then look away, because that unflattering sea of fabric definitely has to go," Sonya says. "It's just skin. If you're feeling a bit warm, there's cool air outside, Leon."

"I'm not feeling warm," Leon huffs, even as heat creeps up his throat. He turns his back to Kamui with an indignant flounce. The heat creeps up to his ears as Sonya and Kamui share a chuckle. It's easy for them to laugh, Leon thinks sourly. They're always so confident, fearless in what they want that the concept of being uncertain of how to handle a reaction is foreign to them. With a dejected sigh, Leon flops over on the bed.

Sonya's applause drags Leon out of his Valbar-related moping. “I knew there was a handsome man in there somewhere,” Sonya says. "Leon, I believe you owe me praise."

A mixture of dread and curiosity churns in Leon's stomach. The outfit is simple by Sonya's standards, but simplicity suits Kamui. In loose, creamy blouse and snug, dark trousers, Kamui looks like he belongs on the cover of one of Leon's trashy paperback romance novels.

Kamui runs his hands over his clothes with an enchanted smile. Leon can feel his uncertainty ease watching Kamui fawn over his clothes. If nothing else, encouraging Kamui's fashion is something he should do regardless of Valbar. "You look very dashing," Leon says.

Kamui whips his head up, beaming grin plastered across his face. If he were a pup, Leon's sure his tail would've started frantically wagging. Flustered beneath the sudden attention, Leon stares tongue-tied.

Sonya sweeps to her feet and points to the bed. “Sit there. Leon, fix his hair and makeup, while I find accessories--Your ears are pierced, aren't they?” Kamui nods, and Sonya flutters to the dresser where they had spread their jewelry with renewed energy.

“Um, hold on. Where do you get off ordering me around?” Leon huffs, as he waves Kamui to the bed. Sonya smirks at him, as if she’s done him a favor. Leon rises to his knees and surveys Kamui’s perpetually mussed hair. “Honestly, I don’t think we need to style it—You aren’t going to let me cut it, are you?”

“I’m not particularly attached to it,” Kamui says, leaning back dangerously close to Leon’s chest so he can peer up at him. “It’ll grow back eventually.”

“You should care about what happens to your hair,” Leon squeaks, reaching up to catch a stray lock. “Honestly, thick hair is wasted on you. I wish I had this volume.” With a sigh, Leon sweeps up the brush, but no amount of work forces Kamui’s rumpled hair into neat, flat layers. Somehow, Kamui only looks more rumpled and befuddled, like he’s been kissed so thoroughly even his name was forgotten.

Leon clears his throat. “Makeup, then.” Kamui spins around, fingers playing impatiently with the quilt covering the bed. “Is there a look you want?” Leon asks, for something to concentrate on other than Kamui watching him pick brushes.

“I’m entirely within your hands,” Kamui crows, with an easy, oblivious grin.

“Hold still,” Leon says, brush ready. Kamui gazes at him with an intensity that makes Leon flush. “Close your eyes.” Kamui obeys, but it does little to relieve the fantasies nagging the back of Leon’s mind. Leon hastily works on Kamui’s face, drawing out his high, sharp cheekbones and perfect nose. As Leon twists and tilts Kamui’s chin, he tries not to think of dragging his fingers from his jaw, down his throat, to his collarbone. Or the sound Kamui might make as he does so.

Leon nearly breathes a sigh of relief as he puts the finishing touches on Kamui's kohl. Gingerly, he releases Kamui's jaw and puts some much needed space between them. "You can move now," Leon says.

Kamui wrinkles his nose as he opens his eyes. "I can feel it caked on my face," Kamui says.

"Um, excuse me?" Leon scoffs as he shoves the hand mirror into Kamui’s chest. "That's exactly what you needed to accentuate what you have. I don't cake makeup."

Kamui peers at his reflection, tilting and twisting to eye Leon's handiwork. As Kamui studies his new face, his incredulity morphs into admiration. "Barely recognize myself. I look like I should be hobnobbin' with royalty or something," Kamui says. "That's a neat skill you've got. You could use it to get in all sorts of places."

"Or I could use it to feel pretty," Leon says.

"Aw, you're pretty without any of this," Kamui says easily. As Leon's busy processing his statement, Kamui bounces off the bed. "What next?”

“Just the finishing touches,” Sonya says, sashaying to his side with a few pieces of jewelry.

Kamui fixes them with a practiced hand before sweeping his scarf back around his arms. Fully dressed, Kamui looks like a fairy tale prince—not the responsible one who inherits the kingdom, but the irresponsible, flamboyant prince who abandons his duty and the throne for his brother to manage while he follows his desires. How comfortable he is in the clothes, jewelry, and makeup is enthralling.

“We have to take you out tonight,” Sonya says. “You look way too gorgeous to hide. Agreed, Leon?” Leon nods. Kamui looks _good_ , and he deserves to know what it feels like to look good.

“I ought to come, too,” Leon says. Kamui and Sonya both whip their heads to him. Leon waves a hand to Kamui. “You’ll need help managing his never-ending stream of questions.”

Sonya raises her hands to the sky with a groan of relief. “Praise Mila, Leon’s actually coming with us. If I’d known all I had to do was arrange Kamui as bait--”

“As if I’m coming along just for him,” Leon huffs. “I just figured a change of pace was good. After all, I spend every night with Valbar and whatever kids he’s babysitting... Maybe it’s time for something different.” Kamui and Sonya both watch him with funny looks that make Leon’s stomach wriggle. “We should head out now, before you spend another thirty minutes redoing your hair, Sonya,” Leon snaps, slipping from the bed.

“Well, excuse me for wanting to look good,” Sonya sniffs, hands darting to her perfectly maintained waves. “You’d tell me if my hair looks bad, right, Leon? Is that where that comment came from?”

Busy rolling his eyes, Leon nearly crashes into Kamui’s chest. Kamui hovers just outside the doorway, looking expectantly at him. “Did you forget how to get out of the inn?” Leon asks, cheeks growing steadily hotter the longer Kamui stares. With a pleased smile, Kamui shakes his head and saunters towards the stairs. His coming has gone to Kamui’s head, but Leon doesn’t entirely mind.


	2. The Checklist (First Date Disaster)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leon and Kamui's relationship stalls when Leon refuses to deviate from a 'proper' relationship for fear of being labelled a tramp.
> 
> Takes place between defeating Duma and clearing the Thabes Labyrinth.

If someone had told Leon a year ago that Valbar would be third-wheeling him and Kamui, Leon would've laughed at them. Tonight, watching Valbar unpack his things at the foot of his bed is as frustrating to Leon as discovering a chipped nail. Leon knows why Valbar's here. With Alm's forces doubling their army's size, more people have to cram into the same number of inn rooms.

It's his timing that's terrible. Leon casts a longing glance to Kamui, sprawled on his own bed across the room. Kamui returns Leon's gaze with an impatient face. Tonight marks two weeks since they've confessed and two weeks since they've had five minutes alone. Between Valbar, Jesse, Sonya, and the rest of the menagerie they travel with, Leon's beginning to doubt they'll ever schedule a proper, private date.

Valbar rises to his feet, surveys his folded pajamas on the bed, and nods. Leon busies himself inspecting his nails. "I was goin' to join the rest of the knights for dinner," Valbar says, oblivious to Leon's pointed lack of eye contact. "Leon--"

"That sounds dreadful," Leon says. Without lifting his attention from his nails, Leon waves Valbar towards the door. "But I'm sure you'll enjoy it. You run along and talk to Clive about… whatever it is he likes to talk about. Off you scurry."

Rather than listen, Valbar lingers. "Kamui, you want to come?" Valbar asks. Leon wishes for once in his life Valbar would be inconsiderate and ditch them.

"Nope," Kamui says, popping the 'p.' He flops over the bed and makes a grand show of getting comfy.

As Valbar studies them, Leon drums his fingertips atop his crossed legs. "I know being late is fashionable, but you don't want to be so late that they finish eating without you," Leon says. "Shouldn't you make your entrance?"

Brow furrowed, Valbar shakes a finger at Leon. "You're trying to get me out of here awful fast. Are you two fighting again?" Valbar asks.

"Leon's bullying me," Kamui says, latching on to the answer that'll get him the most short-term entertainment. Valbar strides from the door to tower over Leon like a father over a misbehaving child. Once he's out of Valbar's line of sight, Kamui treats Leon to a wicked grin.

"He says stuff like that because he thinks it's cute," Leon says, craning around Valbar to glower at Kamui. "I'm not bullying him."

"Well, that sounds like picking on him," Valbar says. "Kamui's a grown man. Doubt he wants you callin' him cute."

Kamui's smile only grows toothier, and Valbar only threatens to stay longer. On the best of days, Leon's spent an hour straightening out Valbar after Kamui's tangled him up in a flippant scheme. It's time their date doesn't have. After giving Kamui his best 'get it together' eyes, Leon plasters an innocent face on for Valbar. "Never mind Kamui's teasing. We both want you to go out tonight. You… You…" Leon looks helplessly to Kamui.  "Um…"

Kamui pulls himself to a sitting position with a monumental sigh. "You spent all last night babysittin' us over some dumb argument I forgot already," Kamui says. "You gotta go out and live a little. If your version of that is talking to Clive about beating dents out of armor, then do it. Leon and I won't bicker too much tonight, mercenary's honor."

When Valbar nods, Leon sags with relief. "That's awful sweet of you boys," Valbar says, stomping to the door. "In that case, why don't I--" Valbar pauses, hand on the door knob. Leon's stomach plummets. "What're you two doing for dinner? You've got plans, right?"

Leon springs from the bed and starts shooing Valbar from the triple bedroom. "I'll make sure he gets fed. You can trust me to be responsible," Leon says. "Don't worry about a thing. Hurry up and leave before you get sucked into our drama."

Leon closes the door on Valbar's heels and collapses against it with a relieved sigh. One clingy, date-foiling obstacle defeated. Kamui wriggles onto his stomach, props his chin in his hands, and fixes Leon with a feline smile. "Where are you taking me for dinner?" Kamui asks, husky voice a smug purr. Leon attempts to grimace, but his wobbling lips break into a smile. "The amount I put out is directly proportional to the cost of the food."

"I didn't realize I was seeing a food hooker," Leon says. Kamui drags a hand through his hair with a roguish, unapologetic grin. After a breathy giggle, Leon sweeps his hairbrush from the vanity. As he does some hasty touchups, Leon can see Kamui's reflection smoldering at him from beneath thick lashes. "You're a grown man who can buy his own food. I'll let you decide how much you're paying."

"So something pricey then," Kamui drawls, tracing some undefined pattern over his quilt.

"Kamui!" Leon squeaks, heat rushing to his face. His giddy grin diminishes his scandalized tone.

Kamui saunters to the vanity and drapes himself against it. "Just kidding," Kamui murmurs. Leon can feel the slow onceover from his boots to the tip of his head. "If you wanted to stay in and make out, I'd do that for free."

Kamui leans in close, tempting Leon with the smell of soap, nature, and warmth. Before he can succumb, Leon whips the hairbrush between them. "We agreed the first kiss had to be romantic," Leon says. "I need a good story when people ask. 'We were so desperate after third wheels dogging us for weeks that we made out on the dresser' isn't fairytale, and Sonya would mock me for it to our graves."

Kamui pulls away with a plaintive whine that nearly convinces Leon to kiss him on the spot. "That was before we got stuck waiting for two weeks," Kamui grumbles. "Drinks with Sonya, drinks with Jesse, babysitting that kid for Luthier--"

Leon folds a hand over Kamui's to stop him from ticking off fingers. "Take me somewhere with candles, shower me with compliments, and then we can kiss," Leon says. Kamui steals the hairbrush from Leon and nudges him from the mirror. Watching Kamui attempt to fix his hair is one of few times Leon's seen him put care in his appearance. "Aw, are you nervous?"

"Yeah," Kamui grunts. "You're the first person who's had a checklist."

"It's not like that," Leon huffs, color flooding his cheeks. "It won't be a bad date if we don't... It's not a checklist of things that needs..." Leon stomps his foot as a smirk warms Kamui's face. "I'm not a tramp, is all, and I don't want anyone thnking I am. Besides, it'll be good for us to take things slow for you, too. I don't want you to feel like you're pressured to do certain things because I've been with men and you haven't."

"Pressure?" Kamui scoffs. "I thrive under pressure."

As he pins his cloak around his shoulders, Leon quirks an eyebrow at Kamui. “Like that time—"

The bedroom door swings open to reveal Sonya draped in the doorway. Kamui’s hands quicken over his own cloak pin. After surveying them, Sonya slumps lower down the doorframe with a woeful sigh. "Tatiana and Zeke are cuddling in my room," Sonya sniffs.

"While you were in there? Ew," Leon says. Sonya barely flattens herself out of the way before Kamui strides through the doorway, unperturbed by her presence. "Well, you can have this one. We're heading out."

As Leon skips after Kamui, he can hear Sonya’s heels clicking behind them. As discretely as he can, Leon gives Kamui a little nudge to speed up. "Don’t ignore me. Where’re you two going?" Sonya demands, following them down the staircase to the inn’s main floor.

The narrow stairwell is too cramped to ignore her in, or perhaps when Kamui tosses her a glance, it’s simply because he’s being nice. “Out to dinner. The locals recommended me this little place round the corner," Kamui says. “Supposed to be good food you won’t find anywhere else, so they got me curious.”

A cluster of children—part of Alm’s army—barrel up the stairwell, forcing Leon, Sonya, and Kamui to squish against the side. “If I don’t get respite from these noisy teenage boys, I’m going to start developing premature wrinkles,” Sonya says. “I’m coming with you.”

Leon stops to a dead halt at the foot of the stairs, nearly tripping Sonya in the process. "Um, no, you're not," Leon says, hand between them. Sonya's gaze flicks between him and Kamui, and Leon’s stomach plummets. "Not dressed like that, I mean. It's cold. Go get a cloak."

Sonya’s eyes have already turned out to the tavern, hunting for someone to share her newest, juiciest bit of gossip. "I think I'll just--"

"Just get a cloak and hurry up," Kamui says, cutting over Sonya’s protest. "I'm hungry." Sonya toys with one of her dangling earrings before finally nodding. Once she's vanished upstairs, Leon groans. “You were the one that invited her.”

“I know, I know,” Leon sighs. “I’m not cross at you.” Leon collapses onto the nearest chair, one of many stools surrounding a dinner table. “Can’t we go one night without other people? I swear, this whole two army thing isn’t working out. We should send Alm’s half back.”

“Aw, I’ve never had some suggest getting rid of half an army for me before,” Kamui says. He leans against the table, ignoring the strained, wooden creak of protest. “If you're willing to ditch your checklist, we could still go back upstairs and… y’know. If we lock the door, Valbar can’t walk in.”

Leon shakes his head. “I don’t want to risk Valbar getting so much of a whiff of us until we know what... us is. He’s still trying to set me up with the local barmaids.”

“Should I be jealous?” Kamui asks.

“Only if you’re cute about it,” Leon says. The corners of Kamui’s eyes crinkle as he smiles, but bringing a smile to Kamui’s face only makes Leon’s aching desire to touch him worse. Leon's not sure if he can last another night without caving, date or dateless. "We're sticking to the list. I'll tweak it for Sonya's company."

Kamui nudges Leon’s leg. “Not to burst your bubble, but you might need to tweak it for Jesse's company, too. He's coming over with a scary light in his eye,” Kamui says.

“Of course he is,” Leon mutters.

A desperate looking Jesse slaps his hands on the table, sending the furniture screeching a few centimeters. “Are you guys going somewhere?” Jesse blurts. His tanned face is flushed a color Leon doesn’t usually see, but tonight, Leon has no interest in asking why.

“Everyone’s going somewhere,” Kamui says.

“That’s some real deep philosophical shit, but don’t hit me with that right now, man. This is serious,” Jesse says. He slaps the table again as if only loud noise will get their concentration. “Are you going out somewhere? Like, somewhere nice? Somewhere I can bring a girl?”

“Let’s—Are we babysitting Jesse?” Sonya asks, on cue. She's returned dressed in a sleek, fur-trimmed coat and accompanied by Palla, also dressed in cozy winter clothes. Leon's head hurts.

“If Sonya and Palla are going, it can’t be too bad," Jesse says. "Hold still. Silque said she’d go out with me tonight. I got to get her before she changes her mind.” Without waiting for a response, Jesse barrels off into the crowd.

“If Sonya and Palla are going? What about me, Jesse?” Leon huffs. “Am I chopped liver here? I’m not an indicator of good taste?” Leon slumps back in his stool, folds his arms, and gives Palla a bitter onceover. “I don’t know why Sonya invited you without asking me first, but you’re invited, too, Palla.”

The Pegasus knight fidgets with her gloves. “Don’t you get passive aggressive with us. I was more than happy to let you two run off without me, and you said no,” Sonya says. She stares him dead in the eye, challenging him to bicker with her. Leon gives his best nonchalant shrug.

Sonya rolls her eyes before latching onto Palla's arm to gossip. “I can’t believe Jesse actually got Silque to go out with him. Like… How’s she not figured out he’s a useless playboy yet?” Sonya asks.

Palla covers her mouth with a demure hand as she laughs. “Perhaps she’ll do him some good,” Palla says.

“Least there’ll be entertainment over dinner watching Jesse both attempt to flirt and deny flirting with a holy woman,” Kamui says.

As they sink into easy banter, Leon pouts at the worn wooden floorboards. As unwilling as he is to admit it, the checklist is ruined. They can't kiss tonight, not without being labelled tramps. Leon knows he’s being an unreasonable brat, sulking over a problem he created, but knowing that makes him feel ashamed as well as frustrated. Jesse bounds up with an entourage of Silque, Faye, and an unenthusiastic Saber. Resigned to his fate, Leon drags himself up without complaint.

They meander out into the village streets as a chattering horde that makes Leon's frustration buzz. Gentle snowfall flutters from moonlight clouds, and the streets are deserted. If it weren’t for their crowded party, the atmosphere would be romantic. Kamui points out directions, and they start to crunch through the snow.

Leon trails behind, watching with morbid fascination Jesse and Silque giggling over her terrible directional sense. As much as he knows watching it makes him feel worse, Leon can’t rip his eyes away.

Kamui announces his presence by poking Leon’s cheek. “Cold!” Leon squeaks, swatting Kamui’s frozen finger away.

Kamui retracts his hand with a chuckle and leans towards Leon, not quite touching. “Not like you to clam up for so long,” Kamui says. Snowflakes pepper his dark hair, and those that catch his skin melt from the warmth. Leon curls his hands into balls and shoves thoughts of cupping Kamui's cheeks away. “What’s on your mind?”

“If Jesse and Silque get together instead of us tonight, I’m going to scream,” Leon says. Kamui’s mouth pinches into a thin line. “Sorry, that’s a bit terrible of me to say. I want them together, just not together on our night.”

Kamui eyes their companions, out of earshot but still visible. “What if… We trail farther and farther behind them, and let Silque lead them down a wrong turn?” Kamui says. “Then we have that restaurant table all to ourselves.”

“Perfect,” Leon giggles. “Letting this icy weather ruin their skin will be a suitable punishment for ruining our date.”

“Still nice to get a change of pace from inn food,” Kamui says, kicking a random chuck of snow. When it disintegrates at the first bounce, he seems to sag. “There’s always tomorrow for a proper, romantic date.”

“Right,” Leon says, as guilt and longing rattle around his head like a pair of caged animals. He doesn't want Valbar to think he's a tramp, Leon reminds himself. “You’re right. What’s one more night of not being able to…” Leon casts a hesitant glance towards their companions. “Of waiting?” Kamui's agreeable hum feels laced with the gloomy understanding that they're about to be forced to wait far longer than 'one more night' again.

They find the restaurant crammed between two more shops along the main street. It's a space straddling the line between cramped and cozy, quietly humming with couples eating at little, private tables.  Flowers and leafy plants decorate tables and grow along trellises against the walls, filling the restaurant with a floral scent. If their party hadn't ballooned to eight, Leon's sure it would be perfect. As the waitress scurries off to find them a table, their sheer size seems to frazzle her. Unperturbed, Jesse elbows his way to the front and wedges himself between Kamui and Leon. "This place is perfect," Jesse hisses, nearly vibrating with excitement. "You guys are like… the best wingmen ever."

"It is perfect for a date, isn't it?" Leon says drily, before remembering he decided not to be bitter about it. The dripping disdain bounces off of Jesse's sunny mood anyways. Leon waves Jesse back to Silque with a sigh. "You don't want to neglect her, do you? Go back and ask about her day," Leon murmurs. “And tell her that her makeup looks good. She’s using a different palette tonight, probably for you.” Jesse shoots him a thumbs up before bounding back into their crowd. Being nice to Jesse doesn’t make Leon feel better.

The waitress cobbles them an eight person table from four smaller, more intimate tables. In the seating chaos, Leon ends up wedged between Sonya and Faye, with Kamui far away at the opposite corner of the table crammed against the wall. When Leon tries to catch his eye, Kamui is lost in an intense study of the trellises.  Leon fidgets with his nails and pouts, struggling to tune out Jesse and Silque flirting over their shared menu.

By the time dinner arrives, Leon’s tenuous mood has soured again. Jesse and Silque are getting along swimmingly, the way he and Kamui should’ve. The only bright spot is uncharacteristically drunk Kamui attempting to water the trellises with his fourth glass of wine. When Saber snatches the glass away, a drunken flush touches Kamui’s cheeks as he mumbles something about thirsty plants.

Dinner melts into dessert, and watching Jesse offer Silque a spoonful of his dessert is the final straw. Leon pushes away from the table, ignoring the horrid screech his heavy chair makes against the floorboards. "I need to touch up my face," Leon announces.

The hall that leads to the bathroom is out of his table’s prying eyes. Leon flops on the wooden bench between washrooms, flips open his compact, and gazes idly at his makeup. He's cursed, Leon decides. He finally has a man interested in him, and yet they can’t even cuddle. Frustration boils beneath his skin.

Kamui drums his knuckles against the wall. "I take it you didn’t enjoy watching Jesse and Silque giggle," Kamui says, running a hand through his hair exactly the way Leon aches to.

Leon springs from the bench and drags Kamui to sit down. "Never mind me--You shouldn't wander around alone when you're drunk," Leon says. "Why're you up? Do you need water? Are you going to vomit?"

"I was looking for you, dummy," Kamui says. He sweeps to his feet, steady for a drunk man. "Let's get out of here. For real this time."

“Mila, I wish,” Leon sighs. There are a lot of things he wants right now, most of which involve Kamui.

“Seriously,” Kamui says. “I’ve been pouring glasses of wine into their trellis display all night, so I’m pretty fake hammered. Whenever you want to take me home for drunken disorderliness, I’m all yours.”

Leon’s mouth drops as he processes how to react. The little ‘o’ is all Kamui needs to break into a cheeky grin. “That’s—We shouldn’t,” Leon breathes. “How convinced do you think everyone else is?”

“Palla was already reaching to steady me when I started to rise from my seat, so I think we've got 'em,” Kamui says. “You seemed pretty convinced, and you know me better than the rest of them.”

“If we leave together, Sonya will definitely gossip,” Leon says.

“Yeah, but she'll be gossiping about how I got super plastered and had to be walked home. I don't care about my reputation,” Kamui says. His dark gaze roves Leon's face. “You’re not enjoying yourself, I’m not enjoying myself. Let’s stop worrying about leaving and leave.”

Kamui's dark gaze is as intoxicating as the best wine. "Fine. Let’s get out of here," Leon says, giddy grin spreading across his face.

They hastily count out the silver marks for dinner. “I ought to pay you for that wine—at least half of it,” Leon says as he fishes silvers from his coin pouch. “You wouldn’t have spent all that money if it weren’t for me.”

Kamui catches Leon’s hands and pushes them back towards Leon’s chest. “I’ve got more than enough squirrelled away to afford spending some on dumb antics to impress a guy,” Kamui says, bringing a blush to Leon's cheeks. Leon pushes a handful of silvers into Kamui's chest anyways. He pockets them with an appreciative hum.

Once the money’s counted, Kamui slings an arm around Leon’s shoulder. When Leon freezes, Kamui motions him closer. "C'mon. We gotta sell this thing. If I’m plastered, I need you to keep me steady," Kamui says. Leon drapes an arm over Kamui's waist and draws his other hand to Kamui's chest. The warmth of Kamui's skin soaks through his flimsy shirt. "Hey, I didn't say you could use that as an excuse to cop a feel.”

Leon retracts the hand with a flustered apology, and Kamui starts to snicker. "Ass," Leon huffs, swatting Kamui's chest. “Let’s hurry up and get out of here before I change my mind.”

The conversation at their table quiets as Leon and Kamui draw closer. As Kamui predicted, more eyes are glued to him than to Leon. "He's a mess, so I’m going to take him home before he vomits on someone," Leon says, patting Kamui’s chest. He fishes out the coins they counted and dumps them on the table. "You try not to become too bored without us."

Leon’s chest ices as Saber opens his mouth. “If you don’t want me to get bored, don’t take all my entertainment with you,” Saber grunts.  Leon laughs, fluttery from a mix of nerves and relief, and steers Kamui to the door.

A cool blast of wintery air hits their faces as they maneuver through the wooden double doors. They fall into idle conversation about all manner of things, from Jesse and Silque to the architecture of the buildings’ windows. As they draw near the inn, Leon can feel their warm, happy bubble beginning to constrict. Despite their mutual assurances that waiting is nothing, Leon can feel the missing kiss sitting unspoken between them.

Rather than join Valbar at his table with the knights, they slink upstairs to their inn room. As Kamui unpins his damp cloak and hangs it from the cloak rack, Leon leans against the sturdy wooden door. They’re scarcely more than feet away, close enough that Leon could catch Kamui in his arms before either could say ‘tramp.’

Leon watches Kamui pinching color back into his cheeks. “I know it looks lame, but my face is cold,” Kamui says, shameless grin only turning Leon’s heart into softer mush. Leon fumbles with the bedroom lock. At the sound of the lock clicking, Kamui’s hands stutter.

“If you wanted, I could warm you up,” Leon says. Kamui’s gaze flits from the lock to Leon’s lips.

“The survival trick I was taught involved stripping down naked,” Kamui says. Leon slips his cloak off his shoulders and offers it to Kamui.

“We’re taking it slow tonight,” Leon murmurs. Gingerly, he steps into Kamui's space, close enough that their noses could brush and Kamui could grab his waist. “Aren't you going to kiss me?”

Kamui’s Adam’s apple bobs at the sweetly voiced question. “Whaddabout your story?” Kamui asks.

“I’m tired of waiting for the perfect moment. I'm not a tramp. You know I'm not a tramp, and right now, that's all that matters,” Leon says. Vocalizing his insecurity isn't as nausea inducing as Leon feared. Kamui's seen him confess sillier, and Leon's seen him do sillier. “I think I want to try taking a page out of your book, and do what I want. And what I want is to kiss you, so whenever you want—”

Kamui pounces on Leon with the eagerness of a teenager. His unashamed enthusiasm makes Leon smile, curve of his lips threatening to break their kiss. The smile spreads to Kamui’s mouth, too, until they’re forced to abandon the kiss. Leon rests his forehead against Kamui’s, savoring the sound of their mingled panting. “Was that good?” Leon asks, toying with the stray curls tickling the nape of Kamui’s neck.

It seemed a kiss far too enthusiastic for Kamui to change his mind about men, but Leon’s seen men have a sexual panic before. Kamui nuzzles against him with a purring hum, and the nervous knot in Leon's chest eases. “I think I need another kiss to be sure,” Kamui says. Leon obliges, again, and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has a prompt request for these two, feel free to stick it in the comments. AU's or something in the universe of SoV are both fair game.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has a prompt request for these two, feel free to stick it in the comments. AU's or something in the universe of SoV are both fair game. I can't guarantee I'll write it, but I'll try to work it in somewhere.


End file.
